turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
3pm strippers are depressing
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
