I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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