If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
