high people should be assigned attendants
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
