So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
