I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
