That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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