No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
