Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize