If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
