so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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