just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
