These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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