3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
