What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
