you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
