What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just found a bag of teeth...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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