i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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