Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
