TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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