i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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