That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
