a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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