"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
