That's intense
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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