the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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