In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
