A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
