So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
