and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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