he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
