i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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