I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
