She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
