Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize