He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
