i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
