The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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