Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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