Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
