i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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