Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
