the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
