He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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