I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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