I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
