She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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