I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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