Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
