I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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