she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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