That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
