Can i not drive my cunt home
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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