she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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