I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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