Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
