im having a threesome with these popsicles
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
