ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
