It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
