it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
