There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
