Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Who died my cat blue again?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
