I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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